"Ireforks"

All week long Bennett has been talking about the "ireforks" and how he wants to go see them, so on Friday we thought we would take him to see the weekly show. All day on Friday we talked about the "ireforks" and what colors they would be and so on.

Last night when we got to the park he was so excited. As soon as the first one went off though, he went running for the parking lot. After we caught him and brought him back he buried his head in my shoulder, held my head down right next to his, rocked back and forth and hummed to himself.

And when it was all over...he said it was cool.

I Wanna Drive

Lately Bennett has been asking to drive every time we get in the car. I thought this argument wasn't supposed to start until he was at least 15.

When he found this rocket at the park today there was love.

He asked Kevin for the keys and "started" the ignition.

I think we are in trouble.

Verdict Has Been Given

***The following verdict was given by Kevin's former classmate. It is hard to turn off that whole lawyer thing. I laughed pretty hard while I read this. It made my day, so here it is.***

The Court of Parents ("Court"), being duly advised of the evidence for and against Bennett ("Defendant")as a "neat freak" as well as the testimony of witnesses above, makes the following findings of fact, conclusions of law and order:

FINDINGS OF FACT:

1)Although the evidence presented to the Court portrays Defendant as what appears to be an animal of the bovine nature, the Court finds that said Defendant is in fact a human.

2) Defendant likes clean hands.

3) Defendant takes all necessary actions to ensure that trash is properly dispensed in receptacles.

4) Defendant maintains a "crumb" and "spill" free floor.

5) Defendant likes to be dry and smell good.

6) Defendant maintains a dust free environment through the use of said "wipes."

7) Defendant likes clean hands.

8) Defendant is two years of age.

CONCLUSIONS OF LAW:

1) Under Bennett v. Parents, 333 Hawaii 999, 139 P.2d 1130 (2008), Defendant is legally entitled to the appellation of "Neat Freak."

2) Under Melanie v. Kevin , 240 Hawaii 134, 339 P.3d 2000 (2010), Defendant is entitled to all costs and reasonable fees incurred in this suit to be paid by ways of cookies and ice cream.

ORDER:

1) Defendant must maintain the appellation of "Neat Freak" until such time as Defendant is married, at which point in time his future wife may present evidence to this Court contrary to the findings of fact above, and move this Court for an Order stripping Defendant of said legal title, and an Order compelling Defendant to act in conformity with the Findings of Fact above.

2) Until such time as Defendant no longer resides with his parents, said parents are entitled to:

1) Expect Defendant to continue in conformity with the Findings of Fact above;

2) Demand any and all necessary action on the part of Defendant to clean any and all messes on the floor or other area of his place of residence, including, but not limited to all messes, crumbs, or other disorderly items ("Messes"), as designated by his parents, whether or not such Messes are caused by Defendant, his parents, or his siblings; and

3) At a certain age, to be determined by his parents, Defendant is ordered to cease and desist wearing diapers, and any subsequent powdering of his bum shall be his sole responsibility.

IT IS SO ORDERED.

Final Verdict Please

The question being put forth to you today is...

Is this the face of a neat freak in the making?

Here is the evidence to support such accusations:

1. Despite his obvious male gender, he cannot stand his hands to be dirty and will repeatedly ask for a towel or wipe until said hands have been wiped clean.
2. Unlike most kids, he cannot simply throw his trash on the ground and continue on his way. He will repeatedly ask you to take his trash, or if a can is convenient, place it there himself.
3. He has an obsession with mops and brooms. He is excited when there are crumbs on the floor and will return shortly with a broom and dustpan and painstakingly try to sweep them up. He also enjoys a good spill and will return with a towel to clean it up.
4. He has started asking for baby powder with his diaper changes. I think he likes that extra dry feeling. He also asks to use deodorant quite often.
5. He uses wipes to wipe down everything in our house. I often wonder if I need to mop or do wipes do a good enough job.
6. Upon exiting a store it is not uncommon for him to ask for hand sanitizer. He is two.

And for evidence against such accusations:

1. He is two. This stage will pass.

We will let you be the judge.